Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
