I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
