I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
