So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
