FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
