You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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