I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
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I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.