We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet