Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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