I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
