At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
