Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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