well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
