Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!

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  (757): She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!! http://tfl.nu/gype
  Replies (5) Good night (2297) Bad night (612)
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  (415): View more from California

  Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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  (415): Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer. http://tfl.nu/s996
  Replies (22) Good night (4692) Bad night (715)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?

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  (778): i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea? http://tfl.nu/q7z7
  Replies (44) Good night (3930) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.

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  (504): Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid. http://tfl.nu/2kcb
  Replies (20) Good night (923) Bad night (4365)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman

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  (440): Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman http://tfl.nu/2u4y
  Replies (9) Good night (732) Bad night (4090)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.

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  (609): Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares. http://tfl.nu/trym
  Replies (37) Good night (5311) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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  (919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc
  Replies (9) Good night (1380) Bad night (3507)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!

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  (770): ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!! http://tfl.nu/fv9p
  Replies (8) Good night (898) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.

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  (724): If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant. http://tfl.nu/s61d
  Replies (1) Good night (1283) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.

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  (315): My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off. http://tfl.nu/m48w
  Replies (7) Good night (2697) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We don't watch enough power rangers

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  (305): We don't watch enough power rangers http://tfl.nu/xqyy
  Replies (7) Good night (809) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?

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  (814): Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids? http://tfl.nu/tder
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed

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  (778): i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed http://tfl.nu/9oqv
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.

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  (804): Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me. http://tfl.nu/u8ne
  Replies (3) Good night (520) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.

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  (904): GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE. http://tfl.nu/ij9g
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (238)

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