Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when does round two start

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent

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  (202): when does round two start (703): I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent http://tfl.nu/4op2
  Replies (0) Good night (1172) Bad night (593)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits

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  (707): I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits http://tfl.nu/21ol
  Replies (24) Good night (1869) Bad night (1063)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.

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  (732): The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made. http://tfl.nu/5n54
  Replies (12) Good night (1427) Bad night (4353)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i just identified you from a description of your pipe

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  (248): i just identified you from a description of your pipe http://tfl.nu/awfe
  Replies (13) Good night (5150) Bad night (729)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.

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  (248): Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/ywit
  Replies (19) Good night (5158) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".

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  (516): The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina". http://tfl.nu/tnih
  Replies (17) Good night (7697) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.

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  (651): i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest. http://tfl.nu/l8w8
  Replies (10) Good night (1495) Bad night (2216)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.

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  (864): its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/4cn9
  Replies (2) Good night (1813) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.

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  (+27): He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy. http://tfl.nu/pi4j
  Replies (4) Good night (1662) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair

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  (570): I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair http://tfl.nu/vjbt
  Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK

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  (416): He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK http://tfl.nu/pb5y
  Replies (20) Good night (885) Bad night (2323)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"

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  (512): They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do" http://tfl.nu/5kcu
  Replies (8) Good night (2901) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on

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  (936): If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on http://tfl.nu/8phy
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?

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  (618): Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher? http://tfl.nu/1k5x
  Replies (3) Good night (331) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.

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  (786): When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock. http://tfl.nu/2333
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (256)

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