I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?