she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.