I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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