Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning

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(513): View more from Ohio

The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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(425): View more from Washington

God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

how do flat chested girls get laid?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...

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(503): View more from Oregon

Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?

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(937): View more from Ohio

My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.

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(607): View more from New York

I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators

(1-607): View more from New York

Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.

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