I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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