he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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