I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think a kid would responsible me up
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
