try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
