Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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