He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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