What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
