I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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