Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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