I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
