Just mADE A PArabola og urine
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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