I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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