They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
