i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize