this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize