Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
