watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
