their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She is in my trunk
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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