Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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