me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize