oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
