I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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