brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
