I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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