Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
