yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize