Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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