last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
