Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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