I wish I could teleport
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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