Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
