She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
