dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize