Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
