I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
