Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
