i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
