Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
