it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
