let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
