I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
only if we run a train.
done.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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