what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
