i barfeds in our rink
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
