nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
