But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This toilet bowl is my home.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
